User talk:SerHurin
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Alfred 11:59 page. Please be sure to read all of the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. You can also read some of the best stories our wiki has to offer by checking out Suggested Reading. Finally, you can check out stories written by authors of the wiki in User Stories. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! ClericofMadness (talk) 09:56, August 1, 2018 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. :I'm afraid your story has been deleted. I see a lot of potential in it though, and I believe with a couple of adjustments it can stay up. :The main issue with the story is that it's not relatable at all. You went with a mentally fragmented narrator, but you went too far. The character seems completely detached from reality. Everything we get is from his already broken mind. What is really interesting in these stories is seeing the disconnect between reality and madness. Here, we are already plunged in the guys delirium. Stories like these are very hard to pull off, since you need to both write a sensible story and write from the perspective of a madman. :I believe though that this approach can work here, and it all depends on the build up. Right now, because the story is so detached from reality, the ending is too ambiguous to be creepy. You need to work harder than that to make it work. You have a very interesting idea with the clock, but it is underused. Build up the paranoia around it. Maybe make the narrator obsessed with it. Then, when the time changes, the narrator feels betrayed and maybe lashes out (or something). You must do something to make the story more concrete. :Unfortunately, as it stands right now, the story is too fluid. It's just the gibbering words of a madman. On its own, it doesn't mean much. You need to build a narrative around it to make this a proper story. This reads more like a journal entry you would find in a properly developed story. :Hope this helps. If you have any questions, or want me to go into more detail, feel free to ask. Happy writing! MrDupin (talk) 12:39, August 14, 2018 (UTC)